We’ve all had someone, at some point in our lives, even when we were in elementary school, or just last year, who . . . brought us down.
Someone who always had to have the focus on her.
Someone who felt better about herself by making you feel or look bad.
Someone who never once asked how YOU were doing, but spent gobs of time telling you how SHE was doing (complaining the whole time, no doubt).
Someone who just brought you down.
I’ve had that kind of person in my life. I’ve had that kind of person in my life more than once.
The “before 50″ me would keep that person in my life, because . . . I was expected to. After all, how could I “drop” a person? Even if she was toxic.
The “after 50″ me knows better. Toxic people don’t make the cut anymore. There’s no room for them. I have too much joy and love and happiness and energy and there simply is no room for them in here.
Julie Morgenstern is known as the “Queen of Organization.” But, she’s so much more than that. When I first went to her while researching my chapter on organization, I was expecting to get fabulous tips on straightening out of my closets and downgrading my junk drawers to “miscellaneous stuff” drawers. I left our first meeting with the tools and courage to shed more than things . . . to also let go of people who were bringing me down, and stopping me from seeing myself clearly.
These are people who are just as de-energizing and depleting as the boxes of old magazines that are piling up in your den. But, if she drains you every time you get together because she whines and complains about her life, but she never listens to your advice or asks how you’re doing . . . that’s a sure sign that it’s time to shake her loose.
Julie advises us to think it through the ramifications very carefully before acting. If completely cutting off the relationship isn’t possible, try to reinvent it. Maybe she’ll get the message and start to back away from the relationship, too . . . but don’t count on it. Toxic people like these kinds of relationships, because they make THEM feel good.
Be honest with yourself about which relationships feed you, and which deplete you.
You’ll know what to do.
Best of Everything,